Dirty Grandpa (2016) ☆

I wasn’t going to see this; it isn’t my kind of movie, at least, not any more.  Its nonstop vulgarity, profanity, misogyny and stupidity leave me cold.  It still stuns me that a two-time Oscar winner agreed to star in this slop, but Robert De Niro is a brave actor and probably had a lot of fun doing it.  And yes, it is a disgusting mess, but its biggest fault, like so many other raunchy comedies, is that way down deep, it has a conservative center.  Which means that all its bad behavior, cursing and sexual shenanigans is a pose because it really had something more important to say.  What a crock.

Dan Mazer’s film is mostly unapologetic.  For its first four-fifths or so it is what it proclaims to be, a very raunchy, mostly unfunny, always vulgar road trip with a recent widower (De Niro) and his uptight grandson (Zac Efron) going to Florida.  I can’t recall why De Niro’s character needs to go to Florida (from Georgia) but the upshot is that he really, really needs to have sex.  So he and his grandson hook up with some college girls (Zoey Deutch, Aubrey Plaza) in hopes of sowing a few wild oats.  But Efron’s character is soon to be married, and he is appalled at Grandpa’s behavior.  The Florida trip turns into one misadventure after another, each one more embarrassing than the one before.

Ultimately, we learn that none of this matters.  None of it.  It’s all a ruse on Grandpa’s part to get his grandson away from the snotty control freak he is about to marry (Julianne Hough) and away from a corporate lawyer life that he will always regret.  Right.  A truly awful breakup scene (long distance in the same room) is followed by the grandson finally breaking free from his tightwad father (Dermot Mulroney) and leaving to live his own life.  Right.

De Niro and Efron give it all they have, almost.  The girls are hot, especially Plaza as the most potty-mouthed oldies groupie in movie history.  The supporting characters are stupid, especially the drug dealing tourist shop owner (Jason Mantzoukas) who is always hanging around, and the two cops who always let him go, but can’t wait to arrest Efron’s character and throw him in jail.  It’s all topped off by a bizarre coda involving a baptism, and the weirdness never stops.  It’s not my kind of movie, as should be apparent.  You’ve been warned.  ☆.  25 February 2016.

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